A Good Kind of Deja Vu

Last week, I went to what is now referred to my old home to get the last of my things - or at least move them out to the garage. The house was completely cleared out and had been cleaned. Carpets swept and cleaned, the kitchen was spotless - all the bathrooms practically sparkled. I was standing in the entry way (foyer) looking into the living room - and felt a deja vu.

It took me back to 2003 - when I entered the house for the first time after it had been completed. It was an erie but very real feeling.

The memory of how excited and hopeful I felt when I came in 5 years ago to check the place out before moving in. I haven't felt that way in a long time.

As I scanned the house I suddenly realized how much I have enjoyed living here. And what a beautiful place this was. I say that - because honestly over the last couple of months it didn't feel nice.

But now everything was clean. All my crap, physical and mental - was gone. It was brand new all over. For a second I couldn't help but hope that the same was true for me. As I stood there silently admiring the peaceful emptiness. The sun filling the rooms and bouncing off the walls, creating a very soft glow, as memories of the last 5 years played out in the rooms. It was like watching a movie full of lifetime clips.

Christmases, birthdays, family get togethers, and cook outs, kids playing and laughing - all good memories. It was like the house was reminding me to only remember all the great and precious moments we had there - and everything else will just be a distant past.

I told a very good friend of mine that I didn't think I would get so choked up about leaving. But as I stood there in the middle of a house it represented so much more than my house. It was my life. It was me that was all cleaned up, and ready for a new beginning.

I will not forget my past, but I will choose to only remember the good parts.