Smiling Through Clenched Teeth

So this weekend was absolutely great!! I went on not one, but two dates!! With two very nice guys and looking forward to seeing both of them again, so it was a nice distraction from this waiting room game that I am currently trying to pretend that I am not in.

Allow me to clarify, I have one dream job that I am in the top running for, another really great job that I am waiting for the final yes or no, and I began the process for a 3rd phenomenal opportunity. This is all fantastic, I should be ecstatic and I am - but I am also in limbo - just sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to be told to "Come On Down!!"

In the mean time, I have to go to a job that I am beyond sick of (thank you God for giving it to me, but I am really READY to move on) and am having fantasies of going postal the next time some one asks me to do something that my dog could do.

I have bills that I am dying to pay off, a birthday party to throw for my daughters, my future to begin rebuilding and basically beyond ready to get this party started.

However, I am sitting at the starting line (still), revving my engine and thinking that I am about to explode. And then my well meaning friends and family, God Love Them All, come along and ask that simple yet in your face - "oh did you forget you were waiting?" question that makes me want to scream until my ears bleed... "So... have you heard anything??"

NO - NO I HAVEN'T!!!!!

I assure you... no wait... I promise you! The entire world will know when I have heard something. I will write it in the sky, send out smoke signals and it will be breaking news that will interrupt Oprah!!

"This just in... Diane has finally gotten a job, she is very excited to start and says her first actions will be to plan a big birthday party for her daughters and stop mooching off her parents! - It's about time..."

I feel like some anxious kid on a Christmas Eve that will never end!!! My mom asks, so have you heard anything? NO mom. first off, it's freaking Monday - NOTHING has changed since I talked to yesterday - I am seriously about to loose my freaking mind!!!!!!!!!!!

I haven't heard anything - I'm still waiting - I assure you - NO ONE is more ready to move on with my life than me!! However, no one is as in as much of hurry for me to get hired as I am .

So by all means, please understand that it isn't you... but when I force a smile while clenching my teeth when someone innocently asks... "So have you heard anything?"

It is because I am repressing a demon like reaction that would consist of smoke escaping from my ears, sparks flying from my eyes while my head twirls around and I talk in a low demented voice replying slowly....
No... I... Have.... not.